I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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