Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
