I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you didnt know i had herpes?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
