There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
