My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
