omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
