we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
