She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
