Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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