I think I died a long time ago.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
