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i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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