my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
