Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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