Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
