Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
