at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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