Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
