He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
