Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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