Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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