im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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