Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
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