The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
