Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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