coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
