Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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