fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
