Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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