I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
