We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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