Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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