So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
