His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I AM VODKA MAN
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize