At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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