she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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