I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
