Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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