I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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