I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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