Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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