He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
