quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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