so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
