It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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