I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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