I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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