I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
