i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
tell me about the fingering
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