i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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