So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
