i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
