I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
