Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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