I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
