You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
