so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
